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Whether you're a recent divorced single or have been looking for love again for several years, marriage the second time around can sometimes be more complicated than the first. While statistics show divorce rates are dropping across Canadaexperts say finding love again isn't getting any easier. Divorced singles, just like most singles, may have a hard time finding a new partner because of time commitments, their attachments to their exes or not knowing where to look.
But Orbuch says divorced singles also have the added stress of co-parenting, dealing with past mistakes and finding the courage to start looking again.
Gender can also impact why divorced people aren't likely to move on, Orbuch found in her ongoing study. Women were more likely to blame their ex for the split, while men blamed themselves more than women did.
And the word remarriage itself can also be a burden. While some divorcees may hate the idea of saying "I do" altogether, remember: realizing you'll meet a completely different person, your happiness and health, and the philosophy that with age comes knowledge, are all reasons you shouldn't be afraid to find love again.
Here are Orbuch's top tips for divorcees both new and old to find love again in the new year:.
According to divorce expert and author Dr. Terri Orburchthere is no general time period divorced men and women should wait before dating again. If children are involved, staying in touch with your ex through phone calls, s or visits shouldn't be a scary thought.
One of the most popular ways for recent divorcees to find love again is starting online, Orbuch says. Also, if you are busy, shy, introverted, or haven't dated in quite some time, it's good way to get your feet wet. If you love to read, bike or have a guilty pleasure of trying out new desserts, try ing a community group, website or club with people with similar interests. You're more likely to be attracted to someone you have something in common with. You may be hesitant at first, but try getting matched up by the people who know you best.
Your friends, co-workers and even family members might have the best insight on setting you up on a blind date. Easier said than done, but one of the biggest setbacks for divorcees to find love again is attaching themselves to their exes through old s, social media s or talking to other people for gossip. If you have your ex on Facebook, for example, it may be a good idea to block their updates from your feed.
Another setback for divorced men and women is the fear of being rejected again. Orbuch says people need to avoid taking things so personally and that rejections only help us narrow down new partners in the long run. Finding love again gets easier if you know what you want the second time around. Some divorced men and women are afraid of being attracted to the same kind of person, but Orbuch says this can be avoided if you conclude what you want in a relationship again.
Maybe you need someone who can be a parental figure or something who has more in common with you. Most divorced people also can't seem to find time to date again. While scheduling time to date, browse profiles online or attend new clubs or groups take time, Orbuch says it's also equally important to keep up with your regular life, work and kids if you have any. Orbuch says another reason people find it hard to find love again is they don't think marriage or relationships are worth it the second time around.
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